What is Enough

It's mid-life and the topic of "relationships" is hotter than ever. Mostly because everyone I know is either starting a new relationship, getting out of an old relationship or examining a current relationship. For every one of you out there who is in a relationship, but not thinking about how to keep that relationship good, strong and interesting, you are going to find yourself in the other category sooner rather than later. The unvarnished truth is that relationships require a lot of work (on yourself, mainly). But that's another blog topic.

Now, how did I come up with "What is Enough" ? Well, one weekend last summer I was hanging out with a friend and we had lots of time on our hands to discuss the ins and outs of relationships from our middle aged point of view. You see, both of us had been in relationships where there "wasn't enough" and other times where we "weren't enough". Both suck, but not being enough sucks more because it takes a lot more personal reflection to deal with the latter. But when you do, it's freeing. Anyway, after our four days of talking, drinking, having fun...we both left with a new appreciation of What is Enough for a healthy, intimate, sustainable, adult relationship. It's is not checklist, but it is a guideline. And remember, enough is enough; but since this is part of my next book there will be more words about enough.

What is Enough?

• They have gone through enough life experiences to know that “this too shall pass” and have a reasonable and healthy way to deal with it when it does.

• They will have enough intelligence that no one has to dumb down their thoughts to communicate effectively.

• There is enough daily laughter and communication.

• They will have enough relationship skills that they can bring something new and useful to the table and not rely on the other to provide the insight and experience to making relationships work.

• They will have enough personal freedom from previous relationships that they are unencumbered to go forward without hurting others or shortchanging themselves by moving too fast.

• The sex will be enough for both people and it will be satisfying enough that your world is rocked – maybe not each and every time, but enough times that you are very, very happy with it.

• They will love themselves enough to be fit, care about what they eat, drink and do in life because they know that a healthy body is to be cherished not squandered.

• They will have enough time, enough money, enough ability and enough life skills so that they are not a burden and can move forward through life without deprivation.

• They will have enough honor, integrity and respect to do the right thing and even if they did the wrong thing in the past, they will have enough intelligence and personal commitment to begin anew.

• They will have had enough relationships with the opposite sex to realize there is no single person that is your soul mate, that just because someone really wants to be with you, you may not feel the same way and you can’t make the next person be the one because you are tired of being by yourself.

• There is enough fascination with the other person that you want to know more and be part of their world, but not their whole world.

• They will be wise enough to know that relationships need nurturing, not controlling.

• They will also have to be enough to themselves and they will want the same “what is enough” criteria in a mate.

• And, finally, you are enough for them.

Change of pace. And focus.

I've just dumped all the previous blogs because, frankly, they were just blogs that I thought I had to write because I was in the marketing/writing business. Well, guess what. They were crap. Practically everyone else does them better (Seth Godin, for example) and maybe even the kid down the street.

Nope, from now on I am going to write just what the fuck I am thinking about that day (moment) and mostly it isn't about marketing. If marketing does come up occasionally, it will be a freaking miracle, because almost all of the marketing out there is crap and I add to it on a weekly basis. But I have two kids to feed and mortgage and I have few other skills I can make money from. (But I am due for a change.)

What do I like to write about? Science. People. Fitness. Relationships. Happiness. Booze. Food. Amazing things.
So that's what I am going to write about. No one reads this anyway, so it's just me writing to me. If you find this "blog" think of it as more or less a brain dump. No need to comment on it. I probably don't care.